In chapters 38, 39, and 40 of Job, God finally spoke directly to Job. These are just a few things He brought to Job's attention:
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy? When I made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band, and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors, and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stayed’? Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know its place, that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth, and the wicked be shaken out of it? Have you entered into the springs of the sea, or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been revealed to you, or have you seen the gates of deep darkness? Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth? Declare, if you know all this. Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain and a way for the thunderbolt, to bring rain on a land where no man is, on the desert in which there is no man, to satisfy the waste and desolate land, and to make the ground sprout with grass? Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, that a flood of waters may cover you? Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go and say to you, ‘Here we are’? Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind? Who can number the clouds by wisdom? Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens, when the dust runs into a mass and the clods stick fast together? Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? He who argues with God, let him answer it.
Wowzer. God did not hold back! He very clearly reminded Job that HE IS GOD ALMIGHTY and He certainly does not need to explain Himself to Job. God holds the oceans in check, commands the thunder and rain, put the stars in place. Isaiah 55:8-9 says,
For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.We cannot fathom the depths of God's wisdom and knowledge. Did it make any sense at all to Job why God allowed so much tragedy in his life? No. Does it make any sense to the world why bad things happen to "good people"? No, it often doesn't. But God's ways are not our ways. If He is powerful enough to hold the oceans in check, He is powerful enough to bring about His purpose in our lives...even if that doesn't look like we think it should. There is nothing about the last 6+ months of my family's life that looks like we thought it would. Anna's dream job turned into a nightmare that almost took her life. The home we were turning into our dream house (except it was in town ;-)) turned out to be slowly making us, especially me, dangerously sick. One thing after another has not been what we thought it would/should be.
Let me be clear...I have to remind myself very often of the truths I shared above. I have days, even weeks, where I get pretty good at throwing myself a pity party; when I just get sad/angry/defeated and tell God, "I want my life back!"; when it is hard to put one foot in front of the other because I'm physically and emotionally drained, and because I'm a little nervous what the next step might bring!
Yesterday, that next step (literally) did something to my knee. I could barely walk. The pain was intense. X-rays didn't show anything, a physical exam didn't shed any light on what was going on (if you need the best chiropractor in Kansas, go to Andover Spine & Health!). So, I get to scoot around on a walker (I'm too dangerous on crutches!!) for a few days and see if rest and supplements and e-stim will do the trick, or if it's something more serious. Who would've thought the 44 year old would need the walker before the 69 year olds?! The girls and I had planned a girls' day today, to go get coffee and a trip to Hobby Lobby. Then we were all going to head to the shooting range for some family bonding. What a bummer. Again! Why do our best laid plans keep blowing up?! Honestly, I have no idea. I don't know why God brought us to this point. I know He has a plan and His word tells us it is for His glory and our good. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a time for everything-to weep & to laugh; to keep & to cast away. I'm trying to hold everything the Lord has given me with open hands...but I've discovered today that I'm not very good at that. I don't like to be dependent on someone else. I'm like a petulant toddler who insists, "I do it myself!" as God continually nudges me to let go. Whether that's letting go of something as silly as letting Isaac make my coffee, or as hard as a home...God wants me to let go, to let Him show me what His purpose is and how He can make me more like Jesus. I might never understand His purpose this side of Heaven, but I know I can continue to grow in my faith every day for the rest of my life. Sometimes I just wish He would be a little gentler in how He chooses to help me grow! ;-)
