Sunday, October 20, 2013

Picture overload!

All kinds of pictures for the family :)

At the library. Oh my, the cheeks!!

Haulin' tomatoes for Mama :)


His first spelling test was a couple weeks ago. He aced it!

Tickling daddy's back. Such a sweet boy. 

I had braided Anna's hair when it was wet and she LOVED what happened when it was dry and she unbraided it. She wanted me to take a picture and send it to Papa. 

We kept Jeremy's kids for a few days. It was fun. Chaotic, but fun!

We had to take 2 vehicles to church! Rhys zonked out on the way home. 

Oh my. Uncle Elry, Aunt Carol, and Sarah sent the kids these Duck Dynasty dolls...that talk. My favorite? Phil's line: women with's a bummer. 

Demolition derby!! The kids have so much fun on these and Isaac has become a pretty good driver!

Anna fashioned some clothes for her tiny doll using some sticky tack! She also made some "toys"...I was impressed with how well she did!

I guess they're ready for Christmas?? Actually, I think they had been watching a Christmas  movie. 

Found this fascinating creature in the driveway. 

Art class! Binga is teaching via Skype to our little co-op class on Fridays. The kids were SO proud of their paintings!! They'll be adding trees this week. 

They're starting to get along a *little* better!

Jeremy and Alisha treated me to a delicious steak dinner Sunday. And Alisha and the girls made chocolate covered strawberries. We had to teach Rhys about the finer things in life ;)

Practicing his sketching he learned about in art a few weeks ago. 

Isaac's sketching. I asked him to smile. This is what I got. 

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Motherhood is Tough

Today was a hard day. 

I had to physically restrain my compassionate, passionate, tender-hearted (and deceivingly strong) daughter twice. She didn't like the dentist yesterday. She'll have to be sedated for a routine cleaning after today. 

I had to listen to that same precious girl scream, "I hate you!!!" to several people, including myself, who were just doing what's best for her. That's never even come close to coming out of her mouth before today. I just wanted to go back in there and tell them, "That's not my Anna. She's never said those kinds of things, ever! She's the sweetest little girl you'll ever meet." 

I had to deal with her anger and disrespect for the better part of the day. And quite frankly, a part of me couldn't blame her. But the other part was horrified at what I saw my daughter turning into-a hardened heart. 

My heart broke a million times, first over her repeatedly making sure I knew she hated me. And questioning if she would ever forgive me or understand why I had to do it. Then it broke some more when she told me she didn't think God wanted her to be my daughter anymore because she was being so hateful and she wasn't the perfect daughter. She's 8...why would she think she needs to be perfect?! Have I given her that impression? Is there something wrong with her? There was more than once today that I felt like a complete and utter  failure as a mother. 
I read a couple weeks ago a quote saying that the kids who need the most love, ask for it in the most unloving ways. Maybe I should have just loved on her instead of sending her to her room when she kept telling me she hated me, even after she had calmed down. Maybe I should have done everything differently. 

But you know what? At the end of the day, I did what I thought was best. I prayed for Jesus to be present and calm my baby girl over and over. I don't know why that didn't happen. I prayed for grace and patience. And I pray that she will very soon understand, at least in part. I know one day when she's a mom, she will understand in whole. 

This mother thing? It's hard. Really hard. But you know else? God is there. He never sleeps. As one mom said, "He works the night shift." He loves Anna even more than I do.

So tonight, I go to bed emotionally & physically exhausted, knowing that His mercies are new every morning.