The last few months have been very, very challenging with Anna. Something happened, her age, I don't know but her behavior has changed dramatically. We're still trying to figure it all out. It's been tough and I have gotten in a rut. There are literally very few things all day that she doesn't argue with me about. I never know what is going to trigger a massive meltdown. Everything is a battle-from getting dressed to doing school to sleeping and sometimes even eating. All the negative behaviors have made me forget to look for the good, forget that she is only 7, forget that she's probably just as confused as I am, forget that she is a gift straight from Heaven above!! Another thing that I've lost in all this is how deeply Anna feels everything. Jacob came down with some weird rash/disease? I can't remember the name of it but anyway, part of it is that he just hurts-achy pain. It's been mostly in his knees and feet so walking sometimes hurts. The pain should go away within a week and the rash could last a couple months. So obviously he has required and wanted more attention. He's constantly asking to cuddle (my first clue something was wrong!!). Tonight as I was talking to Anna before bed, she admitted that she didn't like how much attention Jacob has been getting and it makes her feel bad. It gave me a good opportunity to talk about sin nature and selfishness and, even more importantly these days, to remind her of the compassionate heart God has given her. She's going to make an amazing wife and mother (and the Lord knows what else!) one day because she has a sixth sense for other people's suffering that is astounding for a 7 year old. I read a blog post this morning about being a fun mom and just letting go and being fun-whether that's giggling over a funny story or playing tickle monster or letting Anna bake with me. I get caught up in just life-laundry, cleaning, cooking, teaching...not bad things, but it's hard not to let them get in the way of just *being* with my kids sometimes! Even though the kids got to bed really late tonight and it took Isaac forever to go to sleep, I knew Anna needed some time with me. Sadly, I'd forgotten how fun it can be to just talk to her!! No agenda, no teaching (well there was but not like school), no pressure, just simply laying there talking about whatever crossed our minds. Even though it was 11 pm before we were done, it was worth every single moment. And I don't do that enough!
I don't know if anything makes sense or even where exactly I was going with this post. I know this...I covet your prayers-for patience in abundance, for wisdom in figuring out what, if anything, has caused this change, to remember what a gift Anna is, even when she makes me want to pull every last strand of my hair out!
